I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all my will.  Acts 13.22

            When a powerful man forces his attentions on the wife of a dear friend, then has that friend killed when the wife becomes pregnant, anything else that man has done, or will do becomes colored by these actions.  It is our nature to color the past and the future this way. Any kindness Adolph Hitler showed to his mother Klara, or his dog Blondie seems perverse, no matter how pure the impulse at the time.

            What if the past of such a man intersects your past? What if Hitler was in your wedding photos, or Joseph Stalin attended your thirteenth birthday party? Would you lose those memories wholesale? Would you destroy the photographs, or perhaps wince every time you looked at them despite the happiness of each moment when you were experiencing it?

            When a man, or woman, betrays the trust of those close to them – through abuse, violence, infidelity, addiction, desertion…..there is an enormous field of wreckage that remains, even after repentance is made and grace received. Grace clears the sin away, not the wreckage.  Some of the wreckage may never be cleared. 

            Years ago I spoke with a woman (now gone) about her husband (also gone) whom she discovered  - years after the children were grown – had sexually abused their adopted daughter. She destroyed all her photo albums – all the pictures of her children growing up. He had taken them from her. She felt her entire past from her wedding onward had been taken from her. As a very young man I wondered, “Is she right? Can one man’s sin take away so much? Does it have to be this way?”

            The man mentioned above, who forced his attentions upon the wife of a dear friend, and then had that friend killed when the wife became pregnant is, of course, David.  When confronted with his sin he repented and was forgiven, but the debris field his sin created would last the rest of his life (II Samuel 12.13-14).  We know all this because God tells us in detail.  And in the New Testament Jesus quotes David  more than any other Old Testament writer – quotes him from the cross (Matthew 27.46). When Peter preaches at Pentecost he quotes David twice, calls him a “patriarch,” a “prophet,” whose throne is eternal (Acts 2.24-35).  When Paul preaches his first recorded sermon he reminds us that David is the man after God’s own heart (see quote above). The Bible doesn’t jettison David’s legacy because of his sin.

            I guess the answer to my question, then, is “no”.  It doesn’t have to be this way. We do not have to give sin that much power.  The hurt sin causes may or may not diminish. Trust may be a long time coming – indeed, it may never fully be restored - but we don’t have to surrender our past to the ravages of sin. David’s sin with Bathsheba was not the only lasting event of his life. It ruined the rest of his life, but because he repented, it didn’t ruin his relationship with God, nor did it ruin his legacy. Even after that terrible, violent episode David was still known as the man after God’s own heart.

            When we sin we must understand that the forgiveness we receive from God restores us to relationship with Him.  Our relationship with others may never be the same again. A repentant person accepts this, and works hard to restore the trust he has destroyed. When we are sinned against we must remember that we don’t have to yield everything to the power of sin. Good memories can be kept, and in the future relationships can be mended because of the strength we draw from same grace that restores us to God.

Photo credit: h.koppdelaney / Foter / CC BY-ND