British humorist Walter Caruthers Sellars placed a large sign in big blue letters on his front gate which read CAVE CANEM. When a neighbor pointed out that burglars would not be able to read “beware of dog” in Latin he replied: “Well, then they’re not the sort of burglars we want.”

I assume that remark was delivered with tongue placed firmly in cheek – but even if it wasn’t, one does not get to choose ones burglars.

Not that we wouldn’t try.

As there continues to be more and more of us, more and more of us are bent on controlling our environments.

We began by creating smoke-free zones. These were followed by – truck free zones, campaign free zones, skateboard free zones, cell phone free zones, auto-maintenance free zones, pesticide free zones, fur free zones, pet free zones, IP free zones, and commercial free zones in cities from Caribou, Maine to Kalamazoo, Michigan to Kodiak, Alaska.

The newest zone, which is gaining the strength to a full-fledged political movement, is the “child-free” zone. The guru of the new movement is Elinor Burkett, whose book The Baby Boom: How Family Friendly America Cheats the Childless (2000) is the Tao Te Ching of the child-free set. She resents accommodating children in public bathrooms and parking lots. She resents family leave, on site day care, flex time, and tax deductions. She writes, “It is the childless who must pick up the slack when a breeder must run off to coach little league, or watch little Susie dance Swan Lake.” She believes all public places should provide child-free-zones, and that there should be child free options in shopping and housing.

I really don’t know how to respond to this except to say:

“Grow up” or “How about a ‘childish adult’-free zone”. Actually, if child free fanatics want to quarantine themselves away from the rest of us that’s fine by me – I never trusted people who don’t get along with children and dogs anyway. So Ms. Burkett – more power to you – except for one thing.

If they did that, how would we ever invite them to church?

At the old Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh there was a family section in centerfield. It was an alcohol and swearing-free zone. The bad thing about sitting there was that you couldn’t see most of left field (I guess that’s appropriate). Other than that, I appreciated such a family-friendly place to watch Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla bat.

That’s baseball, not evangelism.

We must fight the urge to turn the church into quarantine for Cleavers and Osmonds and Waltons and the like. The same Jesus who sent us into “all the world” said “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Mark 2.17).

The kingdom is a zone free zone. The Corinthian congregation was a family of past prostitutes, homosexuals, homosexual prostitutes, alcoholics, and thieves who were “washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,” (I Corinthians 6.9-11).

Would we welcome such a crew in our zone?